Month: February 2019

Me: Did you pick up my book? Friend of over 30 years: I can’t afford it. Me: I’ll give you a copy. Friend: No, it’s okay. I don’t have the attention span to read novels. (thank you for the contribution)...

Random Author: You’re going to self-publish??? I’m going for the Big Five. That’s where the big money is. Me: (three years later, at a convention table signing books for buyers) Random Author: You’re still self-published? Me: Yes. (sincerely) When’s your book coming out? Random Author: . . ....

Friend: Your book isn’t selling because it’s got a gay guy in it. Nobody’s going to read a book about a gay magician. Me: Sold over 50 copies last month … (Thanks to @warwriter for this one.)...

Email from acquaintance: I loved your book. Here’s a few things I found while reading it. (attaches 2+ pages of minor typos and misguided punctuation advice)...

Acquaintance: Is that your book? Me: Yes. Acquaintance: Neat! Can I get a free copy?...

“You’re a girl. You can’t write a first-person guy’s point of view.” I might not be a guy, but I know enough of them to know the stereotype. Sports analogies. Military jargon. Action-adventure movies. Things that go kaboom. My men are deeper than that. And women (and queers) love...

Me: Did you get a chance to buy my book yet? Them (sipping a grande latte from Starbucks): Isn’t $2.99 a lot for an ebook?...

Me: Did you get chance to buy my book yet? Long-Time Professional Acquaintance: Not yet. But you totally need to buy this one! The cover was done by a friend of my daughter....

Husband of Friend: So what’s your book about? Me: (gives elevator pitch) Husband of Friend: That sounds familiar. Didn’t Star Trek do that?...

Having a book published will reveal who your real friends truly are....